So it’s that first really chilly run day of the year, and you’re headed out to log some miles. Here’s what’s going through your mind.
37 Things You Think During the First Cold Run of the Season
1. Wow what an amazing chilly, crisp day. Woohoo it’s not hot! No more pouring sweat.
2. HOLY MOTHER it’s cold.
3. I can see my breath.
4. Wow my breath is super gorgeous against the morning sun.
5. My hands are already cold.
6. It’s easier to run when it’s cold because, check me out, I don’t want to die yet.
7. My lungs are burning. That’s harder.
8. But I get to wear these tights and pullover and gloves. I LOVE pullovers. I totally look like a real runner.
9. But my butt is super bouncy in these tights. I hope no one saw me deal with that wedgie.
10. My butt is also really cold. How is my butt already cold?
11. If I keep running it will go numb and then I won’t care that it’s cold.
12. Why do I do something where a numb butt is not just a good thing but something to look forward to?
13. OH! This frosty grass is SO PRETTY.
14. I should watch out for ice.
15. If I find surprise ice I could slip.
16. I might hurt my ankle if I slip and then I’ll have to stop running.
17. If I stop running my sweat will freeze to my body and I might die.
18. Turning into sun… yessssssss.
19. Ah, sun, so warm. I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you.
20. Whoa too warm, now I’m hot.
21. Wait where did this wind come from?
22. Why is the wind SO COLD?
23. How am I cold and hot at the exact same time?
24. This handheld water bottle was a super good idea in the summer.
25. It’s making my hand cold.
26. Must open and close hand. Open, close, open, close.
27. That driver totally thought I was crazy for doing that with my hand.
28. My butt is now completely numb. I think.
29. I can’t feel my butt.
30. Can I ever feel my butt?
31. Can you get butt frost bite?
32. Maybe I’m just getting used to the cold.
33. There’s at least five more months of this.
34. Why do I live somewhere where I have to look forward to a numb butt for five months of the year?
35. I should move somewhere warm.
36. Except running in the heat is stupid hard.
37. Hmm this cold stuff isn’t so bad. I kind of like it now that my butt is numb.